What does it mean to be a parent? Many would point to the importance of imparting, unconditional love, passing on important values, teaching a child empathy and leadership, and of course, taking care of the basic needs of care and survival. But beyond these simple definitions of parenthood and their respective responsibilities, what does it mean to be a parent in the modern world? These characteristics of parenthood are as relevant today as they were centuries ago, but modern society has introduced complexities into the dynamics of parenting that simply didn’t exist hundreds of years ago.

We each have new demands on our time and attention thanks to shifts in culture and technology, and this brings with it both opportunity and risk. With new technology, we can access e-learning platforms for our kids with the click of a button. But with this same technology, we can also find ourselves perpetually connected. This phenomenon may be more culturally problematic in societies which value an ‘always on’ work mentality, but the problem of constant connectedness seems to be a global concern.

According to Pew Research, two-thirds of parents in the U.S. say parenting is harder today than it was 20 years ago, with many citing technologies – like social media or smartphones – as a reason[1]. A major concern for parents regarding technology is their own children’s use of technology, with 71% of parents concerned that their child may be spending too much time in front of screens. Coupled with a parent’s own use of technology and their ability to present with their child, it is clear that technology is a double-edged sword. With the ability to both help and hinder, how can we use this knowledge to our advantage to help us become more present with our children?

It may seem paradoxical, but a small way to make a big impact on your relationship to yourself, your family, and technology, may be to use tech to schedule time to be together. Most smartphones today come with equipped with a calendar application, and it can be easy to set up a recurring event. By simply scheduling the time to be present, you and your family are already taking the most important step towards being present: the first one.


Putting a date and time on the calendar may seem to some as a bit too structured, this may be necessary. Especially at first, if we are not used to making the time for our loved ones, sometimes we quite literally have to make the time. If that means putting it on a schedule, so be it. Share the calendar with the family, and encourage them to add their own events to the calendar with suggestions of fun activities you can do together throughout the month. This can be a great way to bridge communication between the tech savvy members of the family with those who may not be so technologically inclined. And if you prefer a pen and paper or dry-erase board approach, of course, this works too.

The important thing is to make it a point to make time for the family. Whether you take a trip to the park, go camping for the weekend, or choose to volunteer at a local soup kitchen, the activity you choose is nowhere near as important as the people who share it with you. But the activities can be a wonderful way for each family member to learn more about the other. If you have multiple children or other family members, be sure to try to incorporate a healthy mix of activities that speak to each person’s unique interests. This can be a fun chance to try a new hobby or do something that may be outside of your comfort zone, all the while knowing that you’re sharing something your loved one enjoys with them.

As you make a conscious effort to be more mindful with yourself, you will likely find that this naturally leads to being more mindful with others, including our children. This is a great way to set an example for your child by leading by example.

[1] https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/07/28/parenting-children-in-the-age-of-screens/